Ask the Experts-February 2021

By: Red Hot Mamas

Published: February 10, 2021

Dear Red Hot Mamas,

I know my wife has been reading your newsletter for years. In fact, I have found a copy of it lying on her desk. That is the reason why I am taking the liberty in writing to you. My wife Alyson is having a rough time of it going through menopause. She is 50 years old. I hope that you can tell me what I can do for her as she is going through it. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks a million.


Dear Allen,

Thanks for reaching out to us. Oftentimes spouses are confused when seeing their wives going through changes and they wonder why she isn’t her former self.

Menopause is a normal event that happens to all women. It occurs on average at age 51, give or take 5 years. Many women experience some or all of the following symptoms: menstrual cycle changes; hot flashes and sleep disturbances; dryness of the vagina; fatigue; irritability; difficulty concentrating and other symptoms. It’s important for you to be aware of the changes she is going through both physically and emotionally.

If you have not done so, you should talk to her about what she is experiencing. Its best to listen, try not to tell her what to do. Oftentimes men try to fix things, and this may not go over well during the conversation. Instead, ask Alyson, how are you feeling? What can I do for you? Just be sure to be attentive and let her talk. This will make her feel better.

Be patient if she is experiencing vaginal dryness issues. Things may not be exactly what they were as in the past. Often women will take longer to be aroused and have less lubrication than in the past. There are over-the-counter lubricants and long lasting vaginal moisturizers that may be of help and/or medications her doctor can prescribe for these vaginal changes.

And, if she has gone to her doctor for medications to help with her menopausal symptoms, get involved and talk to her. It is especially important if she doesn’t understand the rationale for taking her medication. This may help her comply in taking the medication. And, if necessary, her doctor can also make adjustments to any medications she may be taking.

Encourage her to make follow-up visits for necessary exams and screenings with her doctor.

And, lastly, help her to lead a healthy lifestyle. Inspire her to eat healthy and engage in regular exercise. You can participate in those efforts as well.

We hope that this information is helpful.